did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
