Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Alive.
So much puke
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
