mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
