Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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