Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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