I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
