Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
is that a dick in a sweater?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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