Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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