need another drink. this is the easiest way
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
