I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
