she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
so let's talk penis.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
