He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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