Plan B is the new Plan A
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Small penises have feelings too.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
