The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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