WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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