Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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