i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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