Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
