i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
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