You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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