the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
