I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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