God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
