could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
