You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
