Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Im part way to drunk.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
