Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
