i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
