i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
