I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
