Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
