My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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