A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Can Purell be used as lube?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
