I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
