I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
