Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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