Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
