Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
