im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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