he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
