just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
