So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Randomize
