Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
