Pants 0. Shit 1.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
