Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
