Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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