Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
