It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
