ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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