This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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