Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
