Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
It's just like the Real World with babies
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
